yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
