It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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