im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
