he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
