I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
