you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
