Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
