I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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