I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
