i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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