Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
