my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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