I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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