You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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