Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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