where does the pee come out of this thing
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
