There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
