i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize