I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
