his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
