I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
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