her vagine was all disorganized.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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