1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
