did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
