Don't you send me to vm
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
NoShamevember. You game?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
