Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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