"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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