it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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