if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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