just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
