Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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