I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
