I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
this hospital has no fireball
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
