C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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