he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
