what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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