What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Who died my cat blue again?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
