I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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