so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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