just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
