i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
