It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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