youre lurking in front of me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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