I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
