Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
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The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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