We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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