worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
