Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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