Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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