I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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