guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
