Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
