It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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