just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
