hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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