Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
