I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
