I wish I could punch you in the face.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize