new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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