Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
