the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
