I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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