Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize