How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
