Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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