that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
