How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
